It's Easier to Be in the Moment when You're too Exhausted to Be Anywhere Else

Back in college, way back in college, I took some acting classes. There was a time when I wanted to be an actress and fancied myself the next Katharine Hepburn. We both spell our name the same way so you know, it was like, fate. My given name is Katharine although my mom always asks why I use it instead of Kate since my parents wanted to name me Kate. But see, they didn't, they named me Katharine...I don't get it. But I digress...

So, I took this advanced acting class and we paired up and worked on scenes for the semester. I did a scene from Crimes of Heart by Beth Henley with this guy, Stephen, whose last name I cannot remember. The night before our final presentation I went out. Hey, it was college. Of course I went out too late and had a few too many beers. The class was at 8 am the next day. I remember getting up to do our scene and thinking, if I can just remember the first line and not throw up, I'll be happy.

I did some of the best acting I had ever done during that scene. It might not be saying much but we got tons of compliments and even the professor (Mark Alan Gordon, one of my favorite teachers) commented on my "talent" later that week. I had made quite an impression. So, I had to quit then right? Always best to quit while you're ahead.

Theater people do say a sick actor will give a better performance because he's concentrating on not getting sick. That's because the instincts take over and the actor's brain doesn't get in the way (it's too busy wondering where the bucket is). That's probably what happened that morning of my final.

I thought about that in Yoga today. Last night, I stayed up too late, not having too many beers, alas, I can't drink like I used to, but because Brian was gone on business and I can never sleep when he's away. So I stayed up late and watched TV in bed.

This morning I felt way too over-tired to go to yoga but I dragged my butt there because I felt I should. As I began my sun salutations I thought, just get through one pose at a time, don't push it. And I found, as I worked through the sequences, that it was very easy to be in the moment with each pose.

Normally, during yoga, I'm thinking too much: Is this the right pose? Should my foot be higher? I should not have had that extra cup of coffee. I should be in the moment but I am in the moment aren't I? If I'm thinking about being in the moment, is that the same as actually being in the moment?

Not today. All that went through my brain was, ahh, that feels good, yup still breathing, this is nice.

It was such a great feeling, I wish I could capture it for always but I don't think I'll stay up late before yoga from now on though. While the class went well, the rest of the day has been really difficult. Honestly, I have no idea how to end this post or if it even has a point...I think I was talking about my name....