Beer and Little Black Dresses

My clothing style is what I like to call  "frumpalicious."  When I was working on my show in Center City, I would go outside and stare at everyone walking around.  There are so many styles and types of people in Center City, Philly.  It's a people watching place.  I'd stare at these people and think, "Why don't I look as good as that?"  It's not that I'm fat.  I've actually kept my figure pretty well over the years.  Okay, okay, except for the year that I lived in Ireland.  But if you tried sausage and chips combined with a pint of Guiness, you'd understand why I gained 20 pounds.  I think it's that I tend to wear baggy clothes so I look like I used to be heavy.  I also hate to shop.  HATE IT.  It becomes very difficult to be stylish when you are mixing and matching 80's and 90's clothes.  Let me re-phrase:  when you are mixing and matching MY 80's and 90's clothes.

The costume designer for this last show is very stylish.  Well, you'd expect that wouldn't you?  It's why I turned to her when I decided I just needed a new dress for a wedding I'm going to in October.  I haven't been to a wedding in years and I thought it'd be a good time to spruce up the wardrobe.  As luck would have it, she had to get an evening/cocktail type dress for the actress in the show.  She shared her research with me and then she did something even better.  One day, instead of shopping with the actress, the costume designer brought in a few dresses she thought might work.  When one was rejected, she turned to me and said I should try it on, because it'd be great for a wedding.  So I did.  It was pretty tight, or form-fitting, or whatever the word is.  I thought it might be too small and the costume designer just looked at me and laughed and said, "You don't wear tight clothes, do you?"

But I had a new dress and no shopping!  Win!  A rather blurry picture of it is to the right.  And no, that's not me.  I'll get pictures from the wedding to show you.  I feel so very Audrey Hepburn in the dress.

AND!  I found shoes on Zappos.  Actually my daughter found them for me so again no shopping!  Another win!

Okay, here's the thing.  I'm on the other side of 40 and I've discovered that my flat stomach ain't so flat anymore.  I've a bit of a pouch.   And, no unlike Fabienne from Pulp Fiction, I do not want a pot.  It's forced me to do sit-ups religiously because I want to rock that dress.  We could count that as another win:  working out regularly.

What would probably help the pouch is cutting down on the beer.  Never expected me to admit to that, did ya?  Every afternoon around 5 pm or so, I indulge in my 5 o'clock beer.  When my kids were little, I used to think that 5 pm was the witching hour because the kids seemed so cranky around that time.  Turns out, I was the cranky one, not them.  My bio-rhythms must be below the radar at that point.  Beer is probably not the best idea for low bio-rhythms but it works for me.  It's like my little reward for keeping my kids alive for one more day.  I'd rather do sit ups then give up the 5 o'clock beer.  Okay, I'll admit it, it's usually 2 beers.

Yesterday, though, my son asked me not to drink so much beer.  How sweet you're thinking right?  Ha!  It wasn't out of concern for mommy's drinking habits, nor was he trying to help me look good at a wedding.  Oh no!  See, he has to take out the recycling every week and in PA, we don't do the bottle deposit thing.  He just felt there was too much recycling so I needed to quit drinking so he'd have less to do.  Gotta love it.  Of course, he asked me that and then proceeded to tell me it would be so funny if he locked his sister in the basement.  When I said no, he didn't take it to mean, no it wouldn't be funny.  He took it to mean no it wouldn't be funny because it would be even funnier if he locked his sister AND his mother in the basement and then that's what he did.  And now you know why I have a 5 o'clock beer.  And when I say a 5 o'clock beer, I mean two 5 o'clock beers.