Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Anybody Still There?

Ooph, it's been a while since I posted last. So long in fact, that I wondered if I would ever post again.

It's like exercising (at least for me). I'd work out for a while, months in fact, and then stop for a day or a week and think, I'll work out again tomorrow. And there would be so many tomorrows creeping in their petty pace from day to day.

But really, it's not as tragic as all that. I got busy is what happened. I got busy and I got down. It's not that I was depressed but I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. I stage managed 2 shows in a row at the Arden and they were both HUGE shows and I did not feel in control as I usually do. Brian said that most likely what happened is that someone did something and instead of standing up for myself, I cowed. And then, instead of fixing it right away, I stayed down. Then I didn't know how to get out. Not sure if that made sense but I think he's right. I lost my mojo.

I wasn't even sure I wanted to stage manage anymore. I was signed up to do a production this fall and I had to tell the Arden that I couldn't do it. Because I was feeling all weird about stuff, I expected them to say, "What a flake! How can we count on you again?" Instead, they just said, "Okay, but can you do the show in the Spring?"

Well, if they didn't think I was flaking out, maybe I wasn't. It was time to get my mojo back.

So, slowly, I worked on feeling better. Running helped. A lot. It's hard to feel crappy after you've proven to yourself you can run 9 miles.

Then, a few weeks ago, a bunch of friends/neighbors were sitting on our newly built deck chatting. We were laughing and generally enjoying a beautiful summer evening. And it hit me! My life is great! It's time to get my head out my ass and start enjoying it again!

Oh yeah, the cocktails helped some too....


  1. smiles. sounds like you have been on quite the journey...glad you made it out of that shadow...welcome back

  2. G'day g'day . .nice to have you back. Yep, sometimes we just need to recharge.

  3. Hello Kate, nice to hear from you again.

  4. Well, holy crap. Where have you been hiding? I'm not buying this busy/stage manager/9 mile obvious fiction I'm reading right now.

    No, no... not buying it! ;)

    By the way, unlock your email addy. Baino and I are on a crusade!

  5. Your "disappearance" occurred during my attempts to visit others' blogs more often! Glad you're back. Looking forward to what you'll be doing!

  6. Missed you and your thoughts. Being consistent is so hard and your self doubting moments are unfounded and complete rubbish! You are just fabulous.