Running on Empty

While volunteering at the Philly Marathon expo, I picked up a pair of new running sneakers. My old ones were at least three years old and although I don't run that much, I knew I needed another pair. I went running immediately and felt fantastic. The first day I ran four miles and two days later I ran four and a half. Then I ran six glorious miles after spending all day painting for Habitat for Humanity.

As I upped the mileage I thought about all the races I could run--Broad Street in May, the distance run next fall, and maybe, just maybe the marathon next November. But reality struck--during my run on Saturday I struggled with every mile. Today, I tried, I really tried but couldn't even get around the block.

What happened? I have no idea. It's frustrating because I thought I was finally hitting a stride(no pun intended). I have been taking Ashtanga Yoga classes which I felt really complemented my running. Oh, I know it was only one day but I was really looking forward to the endorphin rush. I haven't had a lot of motivation to do anything for the past couple of days.

Does that ever happen to you? I have a huge to-do list and yet all I want to do is stare out the window and listen to NPR. I'm rather addicted to NPR (I listen to WHYY); it has gotten me through all the yard work and it keeps me company when I clean the house. But I do start to feel guilty if I'm listening and not actually accomplishing anything and I start justifying:

• Maybe I should just blow the day off and get it out of my system so I can hit the ground running tomorrow (oh, there's another pun, sorry).
• This is my life and if I want to sit around one day who's going to stop me? My kids are fed and the house is clean (ish).
• I work for a few months out of the year and when I work, I work a lot so I deserve down time.

But the guilt comes back and my brain starts going down another path:

• Think of how much I could do if I wasn't so lazy.
• Other people motivate themselves to run, clean, bake--what's wrong with me?
• If I just push myself, I'll get something done today and I'll feel better.

It would have been so much easier if I had just gone for a run.