Saturday, May 23, 2009

Doubting Me

For the past few weeks I've been full of self-doubt and insecurity. More so than normal. I've always carried a healthy amount of insecurity around with me. I have been combating it in a number of ways these past few years. For example, last fall, when I really started adding miles to my runs, I stopped thinking, "Man, I only ran 4 miles today," and began thinking "Wow, 4 miles, not bad, I wonder what I'll do tomorrow." And that led me to run and finish the 10 mile Broad Street run.

But it's been since that run in early May, that I've been rather insecure about everything and I can't seem to shake it. I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out where it's coming from. My only conclusion is that since the fall, I've met quite a few challenges such as stage managing Candide and running Broad Street among others. Now, with The Seafarer running so smoothly, it leaves me quite a lot of leisure time to worry about what other people think of me.

Then, today, I read this blog post over at A Majority of Two. Here I am wallowing in insecurity while children are struggling to eat. Boy, do I feel like an idiot. An idiot in a good way though, you know the kind that jolts you out of yourself and says, "Why are you so worried about what other people think of you? Why don't you start thinking about others?"

3 comments:

  1. Absolutely. If you want to stop worrying about yourself for a while help someone else it is amazing how it will get you out of your own head.

    BTW. The economy has had everyone a little shaken since the fall. Even if things are ok all the news etc streses us out and does wierd stuff to us.

    Carl

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  2. Thanks for the note and yeah, the economy is getting me down. I had to stop listening to NPR for a while.

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  3. I think you're amazing. Then again, I lived through CANDIDE and would not have done so without your strength (and your way with boxes).

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