Burger Blog

I was a vegetarian for 13 years or there abouts.  I became a vegetarian because I realized I had to think about my food choices more and therefore ate better.  At a deli, I'd think, well, since I've skipped the processed meat (but not the processed cheese) I might as well have an apple instead of chips.  Plus, vegetarianism seemed cool at the time.

After a while, vegetarianism became a habit.  I never thought about it, I just did it; like putting on underwear everyday.  When someone asked me why I didn't eat meat, I'd say, I didn't see any reason to.  I had a boyfriend who thought my response was pretentious and perhaps it was.  But, to me, it wasn't.  At that time, I just didn't need to eat meat, so I didn't.  But I did need to wear underwear, still do.  Perhaps he thought it was pretentious because he was a loser.  Or maybe, he was thinking of the numerous people who, upon learning that I didn't eat meat, would describe, in detail, how much meat they ate during the week.  Like that made them a better person in my eyes.  But seriously, I could give a rat's ass how much meat someone eats in a week.  I didn't eat meat, but not due to religious, moral or ethical reasons.

Anyway, I stopped being a vegetarian for almost the same reason that I became one.  About 5 or 6 years ago, I was working out more and hungry all the time.  I ate what felt like slabs and slabs of fat.  I have eggs slathered in cheese and brownies with peanut butter on them.  Then I'd feel like crap but I never felt full.  Plus, I craved meat.  So I started eating meat again (still wearing the underwear in case you were wondering).  Oh, but I didn't just dip my toes in the pool.  Oh no, I cannonballed.  I went right to hamburgers and steaks.  I mean, I like chicken and pork is fine, whatever, but give me a Filet Mignon (medium rare), a green salad, and a glass of red wine and I'm in heaven.

So here's my problem:  I love burgers but sometimes they are too tall to fit in my mouth.  What is up with that?  I know that working ground beef too much can cause the burgers to be overcooked or hard.  But why do they have to be so tall that with a bun and some cheese, a person would need Keith Jagger's jaw to take a bite?  Brian and I were in Village Whiskey the other day.  This is a new bar in Philly, very retro with a tin bar and old fashioned cocktails, etc.  The burgers, which were written up in Bon Appetit, were just too tall and stuff was falling out all over.  It's just not fun and, not to mention, very messy to eat.  To be honest, the burgers were okay but not the best I've eaten.  And, it wasn't just because they were too tall.  The best burgers I've had were at a bar next door to Capital Rep Theatre in Albany, where I used to work.  Soooo good.  And, I might add, not too tall.

Do you know?  Do you care?  Do you eat meat?  Do you want to know how much meat I eat in a week?  Do you still wear underwear?